rocky sequel

One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as "Rocky" in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.

"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back three more times tonight too."

golf

Joe: Why don't you play golf with Bob any more?

Mike: Would you play with someone who curses after each shot, cheats in the bunkers and enters false scores on his card?

Joe: No!

Mike: Neither will Bob.

shingles

A man walked into a health center and the receptionist asked him what he had.

He said, "Shingles." So she told him to have a seat.

An hour later he got in to see the doctor who asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles."

The doctor said, "Where?"

He said, "Outside in the lorry. Where do you want them?"

secret service

A man was coming out of church on Easter Sunday, and the minister was standing at the door shaking hands. He grasped the man's hand and said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

Said the man, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Reverend!"

"So why do I only see you at Christmas and Easter?"

Back came the whisper, "Sshh - I'm in the secret service!"